I mentioned last week in my 30 life lessons for turning 30 post that one of my big goals for this year is to open up to you more. This is the first post in a series I’ll be calling Real Talk. This series will be real and raw conversations spanning a lot of different topics from life hacks to issues women face. First up is confidence. We all want it, but many of us don’t know where to find it.
I know it’s easy to look some of the photos I post on my blog and see a girl who’s confident and has zero insecurities. Truth be told, I’ve been working on my confidence for the last 10 years and it’s still a struggle. Some days, weeks, and months are better than others. We’re all a work in progress. Today I’m sharing the 5 things I practice to be more confident.
1. I realized that confidence isn’t something you’re born with or not born with. It’s learned. I started by faking it. The whole fake it until you make it mantra was one I’d repeat in my head over & over while at different networking events trying to meet with people living out my dream job.
I was SO shy growing up. Like shy to the point that I was scared of my own aunts and uncles. I clung to my mom for dear life every time we left the house. Fast forward to the day I moved across the country to LA to go to college. I was determined to make my dreams of working in the fashion industry happen. Since I didn’t know anyone, I was forced outside of my comfort zone to make friends & have a life. I mean, the alternative was staying cooped up in my apartment in solitude. That being said, I spent the entire time I lived in LA in a constant state of discomfort.
2. Confidence can go as quickly as it comes. Practicing confidence is key. I do this by stepping out of my comfort zone (writing this post is definitely out of my comfort one). If you practice stepping out of your comfort zone, things that seemed big at one time will feel smaller the more you do them. For instance (since I’m currently on the elliptical writing this in the notes of my phone), if I usually do cardio on level 3, then level 5 seems hard. As soon as I spend a few days struggling through level 7, when I go back down to level 5, it’s a walk in the park. You have to do the hard work to get there though.
3. “Comparison is the thief of joy.” That’s one of my all-time favorite quotes, from Theodore Roosevelt. It’s also the thief of confidence. Nothing will kill your confidence faster than seeing someone doing something “better” than you are. By better, I simply mean differently. You are the only you in the world. No one else is where you are right now. So be the best you can be today, right now, in this moment. Strive to be YOUR best, not someone else’s best.
4. Tell yourself how awesome you are. I’m dead serious. “If you have good thoughts, they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.” -Roald Dahl. This post is turning into a mash up of my favorite quotes, but I only speak the truth. Every good thing starts with a positive thought.
5. Sometimes being more confident is as simple as a wardrobe change. I have to be comfortable in what I’m wearing when I leave the house to feel fully confident. I have a couple of outfits I know that I love and feel good in, and I keep them for backup on days I really need them. They’re like confidence in my closet waiting for me. Figure out what that is for you and keep it on deck.
I hope these tips helped you. Remember, you are beautiful and deserve to walk this earth with all the confidence in the world! You are a rockstar.
What are your tips for being confident? Let me know in the comments! Also, if there’s any topic you’d like me to talk about, please leave them down in the comments!